Expectations Are They Theirs or Ours?

As much as I love the freedom and excitement of new adventures it's really hard to let go of the comfort of familiarity, even when that familiarity is not serving you in the ways you would like.

I've often wanted to move somewhere that no one knew me. What is it about a fresh start that feels so freeing, and why can't we get the same feeling from consistency? My belief is that as we settle into our new adventures and new beginnings, we too often take on the wants and desires of other people. We slowly begin to erode the original intention of our new beginning because we don't continue to honor our needs over the needs of others.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash.

I have always had this feeling that deep down I am subconsciously working really hard to meet the expectations of all those around me. I have not wanted to disappoint or confuse them, always striving to help others feel comfortable around me even at the detriment of my own needs and desires. I understand that this is necessary in some instances, like as a parent, an employee or a partner. But, even then it's about ratio and balance and never losing track of the expectations and desires you have for yourself. 

That is why I long to explore new places and have new beginnings. I keep thinking that this time I will stay completely true to myself. But, needless to say, I end up repeating the same patterns that slowly cause my true essence to be diluted by what I think others want to see in me.

THAT'S the irony. I'M the one assuming I know the wants and needs of those around me. I’M the one placing the expectation on others. I expect they will or won't like a certain action, comment, outfit, hairstyle, post, etc., and I adjust accordingly. But what if I didn't adjust? What if I stayed completely true to my own needs and desires, likes and dislikes. What if I stopped pretending I already knew what other's opinions might be and just said it anyway. What if I said it, did it, wore it, cut it, grew it, liked it, or disliked it anyway, and then didn't care or take it personally if others disagreed? After all, others are allowed to have their own opinions, and be true to and honor their own thoughts and opinions as well. But what if the people already in my life; the ones I thought for years and years I had to protect from the real me, still loved and liked and respected me? How frickin’-ass awesome would that be!!??

The cool thing is, even if they didn't still love, like or respect me, I’m not sure it would really matter, because by then you would be so tapped into your true self, you wouldn't be looking for their approval or validation anyway.

The even cooler thing, because you finally tapped into your true self, I bet you would start making new friends and connections that resonated with the genuine you. And because you were now being the real you, chances are these new connections and friendships would be based on a more authentic foundation. 

So, the bottom line is this. Release the ideas you have about what you think other's expect from you and just do YOU! Base your decisions and actions on YOUR wants, needs and desires. Stop diluting your personality, bending your values, or compromising your dreams, for the sake of others. It’s time for you to be 100 percent, un-apologetically, who you have always wanted to be. From now on the only expectations you should be fulfilling are those you have of yourself.